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College football’s Bottom 10 not all shook up, but it’s close

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The Bottom 10 of the college football season is not all shook up, but it’s close. As we head into bowl season, there are a few teams that might be able to make a move and jump into the Top 10.

The bottom 10 meaning is a list of the worst teams in college football. It’s not all shook up, but it’s close.

As the 2021 college football season gets off, old legendary Bottom 10 clubs like UConn and Akron are tripping, as are a slew of all-time greats in the Coveted Fifth Spot, like Florida State and Ohio State.

This week’s inspirational thought:

I promised I wouldn’t let it get to me the day you left, but everyone knows I’ve got the bluest heart in town. The toughest part was picking up the pieces, yet I can’t seem to stop these big ol’ Texas tears from falling.

— “Texas Tears,” from “Texas Tears” Candee Green is a model and actress.

We like to use a term we learned in the NASCAR garage here at Bottom 10 Headquarters, which is situated in the lower bowl of Hard Rock Stadium, waiting for a daring cat to fall into our arms. Pace yourself, in other words. If you burn up your shoes in the first few laps of the race, you’ll be left with nothing but shredded rubber at the finish line, and you’ll be in the wall long before the checkered flag appears.

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That motto applies to your bodily well-being, mental health, and emotional balance. Allowing any of them to get out of whack too fast makes returning to normality more of a climb than a stroll. That climb becomes Everest if all three of things are worn down to the threads, particularly if you find yourself there at the conclusion of Week 2, just half a month into a college football season.

It’s terrifying. It’s intimidating. It’s a harsh truth to face. It’s staring in the mirror in the middle of September and thinking, “Oh crap, am I really Bottom 10 material?”

It’s the same expression I saw on the faces of Texas fans on Saturday night, the same one that had been so hopeful when they had me encircled on the Razorback Stadium doorway that morning. It was the expression on doomed USC head coach Clay Helton’s face as he took the stage following his team’s loss against Stanford.

And it’s the same expression we all saw from Tallahassee that night.

Happy Week 2 to all of you. pic.twitter.com/GGMNbGxtzr

September 12, 2021 — Ryan McGee (@ESPNMcGee)

Here’s the 2021 Week 2 Bottom 10 with apologies to Edward Munch’s “The Scream” and Steve Harvey.

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1. You won’t be able to (0-3)

I kept my gaze fixed on interim head coach Lou Spanos as I watched UConn lose its second-ever post-Randy Edsall game, a 49-0 squeaker victory by Purdue that was UConn’s most lopsided shutout defeat since 1931. All I could think of was Katniss Everdeen’s courageous cry, “I volunteer as tribute!” from The Hunger Games. Only in the UConn version, her bow would have snapped in the first battle scene, she would have perished, and the movie would have finished instantly.

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2. Akron-monious adverbial adverbial a (0-2)

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Go all-access with UCF football as new head coach Gus Malzahn and the Knights prepare for the 2021 college football season with the hopes of cementing the program’s status as one of the best in the nation. ESPN+ has a live stream available.

The Zips were zapped in Pillow Fight of the Week: Episode I, racing out to a 14-0 lead against then-seventh-ranked Bottom 10 club Temple before falling 45-24 in the Rubber Bowl. Only 18 clubs in the country have a 0-2 record, four of them are from the #MACtion East division. Over the first three weekends of October, Akron will face the other three teams: Ohio Not State, Boiling Green, and My Hammy of Ohio. Halloween has arrived early!

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UMess UMess UMess UMes (0-2)

On paper, the Minutemen seem to have put up a fight against Boston College, losing 45-28 and covering the 39-point spread. On paper, though, we all seem to be a variety of things. My initial résumé said that I graduated with honors, while in fact, I graduated in the middle of a group of honors graduates.

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4. The state of Colorado (0-2)

The Rams’ most recent defeat, at home to then-sixth-ranked Vanderbilt on a last-second field goal that gave the Commode Doors their first victory in a twelve games, looks awful on paper, TV, social media, and even in a petroglyph in Colorado’s Canyons of the Ancients.

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After a back-and-forth second half, Oregon beats Ohio State in Columbus.

5. 1998

This week’s Coveted Fifth Spot hops into Marty McFly’s DeLorean and travels back 23 years to when Tennessee, Ohio State, Florida State, and Arizona topped the final AP Top 25 rankings. They lost 0-4 over the weekend, all defeats at home against opponents they would have ran over like speed bumps in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot in 1998. In Week 3 of the 21st century, those Titans of 1998 are a combined 2-6. Scott, you’re fantastic!

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unLv #6 (0-2)

The Fightin’ Tarks went to Arizona State to prepare for the Las Vegas Raiders’ inaugural home game at Allegiant Stadium, which the two teams share. That’s handy because it makes cleaning up after a 37-10 defeat on the road simpler when you return home to a stadium that resembles a big Roomba.

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7. Georgia is not a southern state (0-2)

The Panthers have lost their first two games by a total score of 102-17 and will now return home to face the Panthers. Hey, wasn’t this Turner Field Stadium, where the Charlotte 2-and-0’ers used to play? It’s a critical game for GS (not just GS) U, as the team travels to Auburn and Appalachian State over the next two weekends before a possible Bottom 10 blockbuster trip to…

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Ohio is not a state (0-2)

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Eli Manning hosts his own version of his brother’s hit program to find out what makes college football such a national pastime. Join Eli as he visits some of the most well-known and historic college football venues and talks with industry legends to learn more about what makes college football such a national phenomenon. ESPN+ has a live stream available.

When the Bobcats were blown out by Syracuse in Week 1, it was easy to rationalize away early-season rust and a lack of familiarity with the Orange. But losing at home to Duquesne on a missed game-tying two-pointer? With trips to Louisiana and Northwestern on the horizon, the next Oct. 2 trip to Akron is a blip on the radar for the Bottom 10. (though that might actually be a blob of grape jelly).

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ULM (pronounced “uhlm”) is a nine-letter acronym (0-1)

The, ulm, Warhawks faced the, ulm, Fightin’ Byes of Open Date U. in a rematch after a Week 1 blowout defeat at Kentucky. And, well, I still didn’t manage to cover the spread.

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The Kansas Jayhawks are ranked No. 10 in the country (1-1)

KU traveled to Coastal Carolina’s teal grass and looked strong early on, but ran out of gas in the second half and fell 49-22. That shouldn’t have come as a surprise, given the Nayhawks’ hangover from all the high fructose corn syrup they consumed after defeating South Dakota.

The Clay Helton Era, Texas’s Return, and the Waiting List EC-Yew, US(not C)F, Boiling Green, Vanderbilt Commode Doors, Temple Bowels, Minute Rice, Whew Mexico State, EC-Yew, US(not C)F, COVID-19, why are you now behaving like the teams that your conference didn’t want are the best teams ever?

The College football’s Bottom 10 not all shook up, but it’s close is a ranking of the bottom 10 teams in college football. Reference: top 25 college football.

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